geraldho's Xanga

.:: Official New Home ::.

Sun, 30 Dec 2007 12:37:21 GMT

Dear All,

I have officially moved to:

www.geraldho.com

After months of delaying and procrastination, the site is finally up.

Please do drop by.

Thank you.

.:: I'm Off ::.

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 07:48:12 GMT

Dear all,

I won't be blogging anytime soon. At least not in the coming few weeks. If I ever start again, it would most probably in my new domain. I've been dreaming of moving to some place of my own for long and now with the help of a few helpful and kind friends like Grace & Kevin, my dreams have finally come true. I've got myself a domain (Address to be announced in the future.)

In the meantime, I won't be updating nor writing anything. Not here, not anywhere. Maybe there's just nothing much that I wanna talk nor share at this moment of my life. I have too much to take up and let go. At least it seems to be at this very point of time.

I wish all of you a great time blogging. I'll continue to check on your blogs as much as I could.

Take care and God Bless.

.:: GiRaFfE FiGhT ::.

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 02:26:56 GMT

Oh my...! Here's a video of how these fellas fight. I've never known how giraffe fight and for the first time, I've get to see it online. Gosh, I sound like some Discovery Channel's kids, don't I?

Look at them. Don't you think they fight without any sort of evident emotions. Come on, I'm sure they are either mad or annoyed when they do these to each other? But they don't seem to be showing any sort of anger, at least from their face nor were they making some groaning or werewolf scream sound when they fight. Such a pity, they can only use their necks. It would have been more entertaining to see them using their front and hind legs though.

All right, please don't curse me nor report me to the Animal Abuse and Cruelty Department. I am just joking on that matter, ok??

Oh wait, as a matter of fact, how sure are these people that they are actually fighting? I mean..come on..animals are different. Does it ever cross your mind that it's their way of greeting each other? Like, "Hi!" or "I love you..."?

Now, I wonder....Have a pleasant weekend peeps! God Bless...

.:: I'm HoMe ::.

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 07:01:55 GMT

It's been a while now. I was away for Australia for two weeks and I came back with more than 20 pages of Xanga subscription pages to read and that's only Xanga alone which doesn't include other blogs outside Xanga.
Man.......nowadays...people can write really fast.

I've been back for two days after my trip in Australia now. I'm still feeling the "icky" feeling of exhaustion cause I've been staying up quite late to do my thesis. It was also great to complete some of my thesis while I was in Australia, now that's an accomplishment Gerald is proud of. Haha!

I can't update much now. Still working on my thesis. One thing that I am really upset now is that I feel abandoned. No, not by my family nor friends, but my supervisor. Darn...she's been busy herself but then again, I'm in my desperate moments, but I can't do anything about it anyway, so I'm just going to bear with it.

Anyhow, my trip to Australia was an awesome one. Really enjoyed myself there. We had really good company and tour guides as well, be it in Melbourne or Sydney. All right, I'm gonna upload my pictures after I'm done with my thesis. I can't wait to get it over and done. Updates on my trip to Australia next week, I hope! Till then, this is the preview of some of the pictures.

Take care and God Bless.....

----------------
Listening to: Hillsong - Here In My Life
via FoxyTunes

.:: ThAnKfUl ::.

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 01:50:33 GMT

One of the greatest asset in life are F-R-I-E-N-D-S.

One of the least thing we are thankful about, sometimes, could be our friends.

Perhaps one of the reason I am typing such an entry at such an odd morning hours is because I am going to be flying on a jet plane in less than 15 hours.

I'm excited, yet VERY VERY anxious. Perhaps, it's the thought of the long-haul flight that's giving me such notions. I don't like taking long flights, but I do love traveling back home. So that's a contradicting instinct for myself. Anyways......let's get over it and get to my main point.

There are some issues that I have been wanting to bring up since this morning and now I finally have the time to sit down and type it in a sanely manner.

I believe with all my heart that friends are gifts from God. Let's take a look at how God give gifts in general.
God give what's best for you. In His timing, you will receive what he has intended for you way before you were conceived. God give gifts in ways we do not understand, and yet at times, we don't really realize that they are in fact gifts. God give you gifts so you can glorify Him, not just for your own pleasure.
And one thing, when God give anything to you, He gives the best. It's not good enough to give good ones or those close to the best, but it's the BEST.

But one thing though, I do have a question. Is it too much for me to say that, all that is mentioned above, can be used under the term of 'Friends'?
I truly believe that, even when it comes to friends, God gives the best for you. And even as friends, we might not truly agree with God that they are in fact the greatest friends that God has given to us.

Lately, there has been some issues running around.

Let me share something that I've learned long time ago and yet I am still learning, regarding friends.

Have you ever had a close or good friend that when you started the friendship and asked questions like, "Hi, you're nice, can I be your best friend?" or "Can I be a good friend with you, I think you will do fine befriending me."

I mean DUH!?? Hello.........??
Well, I'm sure if this has happened to anyone before, but hello??! I have never make a good or close friend saying that. I mean come on, does it make sense to even say that? I dont know..but for me..that's a little ridiculous.....

My point is..........You dont just put yourself in a proactive manner or radical way to make a new found acquaintance into becoming your good friend, can you? I mean it's not ILLEGAL...but it's just not the way.
I don't remember having good friends that I made because I love them SOOOOO much that I'd say what I said.
The thing is, I believe good friends were made out of very 'accidental' circumstances that we face in life together, which I truly believe God has meant to put us together as such. Even friendships are built out of mutual understanding and agreement, and what not, the 'chemistry'?

The truth about friendship is similar to what I believe as a worshiper is unto God, you don't start a factory to manufacture your desired friends, so can we not manufacture something that we want to show off to God, instead of what God wants, in us.

I still believe that friendships bloom out of a lot of circumstances that we go through together, and yet not something that we can manufacture, instead, it's something that is under God's divine plan. I mean, come on! What do you think people?

Come on, I don't mean that you don't have to put effort in building a friendship, but hey, can we learn to draw a line and be more matured in what to do and what not to do? Should we go to the stage of being pushy? I believe we need to sit back and think if all these are all worth it.

I'd dare to say today that I have a handful of really GREAT friends that I can count on. There are those that I know I can borrow their shoulders to cry on and there are also friends that I can lend my shoulders to and there are also friends that I trust and still there are some that I need to draw the line about. Still, no matter who they are, they are a great blessing to me.

I've always believe that I do not need to have a thousand friends, instead I'll just need a few good friends than a thousand acquaintances that I wonder if I could call them real friends.

Today, this moment, I thank God for them. Thanking God for who they are and not what I wish them to be. Isn't it weird sometimes we wish our friends could live up to our expectations? I thank God for the differences, I thank God for their faithfulness, for their guts on telling me off when I don't do the right thing or make the right decision.

My prayers for you today is that you'll treasure them wherever they are and you'll find and meet people whom God has intended you to meet.

When you find someone you can consider great friends, always remember that they are 'parcels' from Heaven.

All right, I think I'll sign off here. I'll see and chat with the rest of you when I reach the land of Malaysia.

Please do pray for my journey back home if you're reading this. Thank you.

For those peeps back home, I can't wait to see you. For peeps in UK, I'll miss you and I will always remember you when I partake those YUMMYLICIOUS food back in Malaysia.

Take care guys and girls.....Love you..! *HUGS*

.:: PrIdE oR lIvEs ::.

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 22:48:13 GMT

This upset me. --> HERE

Is it even fair to put the blame on them? Why does the finger-pointing start only after they were being released?

If all of them were to be executed by terrorists, would the country feel any better? Does national pride cost much more than the lives of it's citizens? I wonder......

I totally despise finger-pointing. Make up your mind....pride or lives? And get over it...please!

I trust and believe that God will bring upon justice and may God be the sole judge for what has happened. Enough said....

.:: WiThDrAwAl ::.

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 14:36:12 GMT

The thought of knowing that somebody somewhere actually is in love with us, be it friends, families our spouse is truly a blessing. Every morning, most of us wake up knowing such truth could just makes life worth living for another day. I have mostly, not all... lived a life clueless if anybody out there actually loves me and I truly thank God for that, which I felt most of my readers here would have felt the same, I hope. Most of us do no live nor grew up in war-torn or violent-weary environment. Even that, I thank God that we aren't. I thank God for my parents, even if we did end our conversation with an unsettled argument, I know and believe that they love me. I thank God for faithful friends whom I have shared my life with that they still care even when I haven't been the greatest friends in their lives. I thank God that He is the anchor that I can still hold on to, when I lost my way sometimes.

Having said that, lately..I have been struggling. There's somehow two person inside me. Striving against each other, trying to find a conclusion.

One of them are jumping with joy, getting all excited, happy, jumpy, somersaulting and break-dancing knowing the fact that I'll be going back home, but there's also another little fella sitting down there thinking over his worries and problems when he gets back.

It's weird, but it's the best illustration I could portray.

I guess I'm just all excited but yet anxious over the thought that I might have to adapt to the lifestyle back in Malaysia. Don't get me wrong, I'm not British-fied since I came here, but the truth is, I haven't been back for so long. Of course, I've lived most of my life in Malaysia and only a small part of it was spent here.
One of the most scary thought so far is about meeting up with friends. I am not the best person who knows how to keep in touch, in spite of the all most capable form of communication tools at hands, yet, keeping in touch has never been a skill I have acquired all these years.

I know friends must've changed. Hey, change is good. I'm not saying I don't like seeing friends change for good...in fact, if my friends are still the same...I'd find it REALLY WEIRD. After all, we're all a bunch of growing creatures, right?

Really, I don't know what to expect. Friend's that I've never talked for so long, I wonder if there's even a conversation to start with. For some, I don't even know where to start. It's a scary thought really. On another hand, I don't even know what and where to start with.....

Somehow, deep inside, I know these are silly thoughts, but I believe we're all entitled to be silly at times. I truly believe we all do.

I can't wait to meet some of them while others, I'm even doubting whether or not to even give a call. It's one of the weirdest thing...........

Meanwhile, what about friends here? I don't know what to say really. Perhaps, I'm also feeling a little sense of withdrawal of myself from people around here. It's the thought of not wanting to get too involved, too attached. Are there such things called 'symptoms of withdrawal'? Is there a cure?

I'm silly, I know. This is the SILLIEST entry I've ever posted. I hate feeling awkward and weird.

I need some therapy....CHOCOLATE and Kettle crisps might help....

----------------
Now playing: dc Talk - Red Letters
via FoxyTunes

.:: oF DyInG & GaInInG ::.

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 23:03:45 GMT

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. (Philippians 1:21)

We had a discussion on Philippians chapter 1 for cell group yesterday night.

I just had a little thought in the verse. There were the usual and common explanation of understanding on this verse.

To live is to be able to live in Christ and for Christ. Then, the highlight came into the scene when people started questioning the part where it says, "to die is gain". Then came answers like, as Christians, even dying is gain because by that, we will be with Christ in heaven. --> please refer to the whole context of the whole passage to understand this.

Then there were also discussion about differences between good and not-so-good Christians that doesn't do God's will. Will they gain too? Can they still gain if they die? But I shall not add into that, most of you should know the answer to that. For those who wants to know more, please refer to Matthew 7.

I am not in a mission to prove it wrong. As I gave it a little thought, I had more questions.

As Christians, we have the comfort of knowing and an assurance of what lies ahead and what is in store when we depart this world. We believe there are greater things in store, a greater place that is prepared before us and for us.

As a believer, knowing well sin separates us from God, we know for sure God hates them and with that in our lives, we might even lose that salvation if we deliberately sin and not repent. I stress --> DELIBERATE SIN and REJECTION of the LORDSHIP OF CHRIST. If you have doubts and question about this, please approach me for further explanation.

Let's be honest here, I believe no Christians want to die while caught red-handed. No one wants to have to meet God before they repent. No one wants to die when they are living a life of sin. All of us hope that such things won't happen to ourselves.

Imagine this, if you are sinning right now, and suddenly Jesus turn up and all of us are brought for judgement. *POOF* You don't want that to happen to you, do you? It's during that moment that dying and meeting God would be the last thing that you want to happen in your "I-Want-to-be" list. Agree with me or not, I've been there.

My point is, sometimes, it is not just about being a good or not-so-great Christians in the 'gaining' part. It's about being able to say "to die is gain" every moment of our lives. For every breath that we take, can we confidently confess before God that if I die today, I 'gain'. I am not trying to dispute the principles of Salvation (which is something that I don't want to go into in this entry.), but I believe that there is more in gaining.

Whatever type of Christians you are(I don't like labelling the types cause I don't find the benefit of doing so), are you living a life that at the end of the day, you can truly say, "I Gain!"? I believe it's something personal. It's an account between you and God. It's not something I can say on your behalf, neither can one decide for the other's behalf.

One of the things that I learned lately is that, previous accumulated account does not "cover up" your present problems or mistakes or sins. It's just like a car insurance which will not insure your home even if you knock it down with you car. It's a different insurance and so is your account with God. Your past achievements does nothing to make you look better before God if you sin today. The truth is, you have sinned today.

Oh, and have you ever met anyone who has been struggling through and through for years over their sins and yet still bound by it? And do you know that such people sometimes wish God could take them 'home' so that they could commit less sin throughout their lives? What about that? Can they still 'gain'?

All right, I hope this entry is not too controversial. Let's start some discussion, if you may, leave some thoughts. I'll be grateful if you do.

Thanks and God Bless.

.:: Searchin' My Soul ::.

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 21:31:52 GMT

I think my blog deserves better treatment that what I am giving it now. I know...it's not a living thing...but then again..I believe I have a responsibility and commitment to update it and do it justice if I'm gonna own it, right? So, I do wanna scribble some stuffs here. By all means, I hope I can keep it up. *fingers crossed*

So, what have I been up to?

First of all, it has been really about my thesis. Been writing up a little, still got A FEW more chapters to go. I'm not going to be able to finish it before I go back. Even my supervisor was saying that I'm a little way too rush. So, I guess I'm just gonna do as much as I could here.

Second of all, I've been ill for almost a week now. Everything's well now, except for a lil' cough and the flu. The sneezing and mucus are one of those that still lingers with me. Leading worship tomorrow will be another challenge. But hey, what the heck.....Let it be done in Jesus' Name, AMEN?! I got to give what I have, and after all, it's going to be my last time before I go back. Ah.....

What else? Oh yeah, I'll be coming back to Malaysia. Wooohoooooo!?Flight itinery is ONLY AVAILABLE upon individual request, this is due to privacy concerns. Anyway, I'll be back in September, but I will only be available to able to meet up with anyone back in Malaysia after mid of October as I will need to be staying back in Ipoh to finish up my thesis. Sad isn't it? Of course, I'll be glad to have people to come and visit me in Ipoh.

I'm honestly excited about going back. It's been two years now, really. And I do miss things back home.

I'm aiming for a lot of stuffs for this break. Other than taking a break, I hope I could have some quality time on my own. I think I'm a little tired of going through life and let it sail on its own. I have to stop allowing the waves to just toss me around and lead me through this vast ocean. I need some new perspective, I need a renewed purpose, passion and direction, and what not vision. It seems like I do have a lot to take in, huh? I hope not. I hope I'm ready for more changes. I hope I'm ready to get out of my comfort zone. I hope I'll learn to leave my tomorrows behind. I hope, change can take place soon. I really do. I'm sure my hope will not be in vain 'cause I believe God is gonna make it happen.

Other than that, life has not been great, but it isn't bad either. Been trying to pick myself up and went down a big hole again and it has been like that for a few weeks now. Although I've been really bad, God has never stopped playing His BIG ROLE in my life. I've learned a lot of things for the past few months in life which I wish I could openly share them here today, but I know I would, one day..... I can.

I've been watching a lot of American drama series lately. Old ones, new ones......And I love most of them that has much lessons to learn about.

And one of those is this, "A friend is not about what you should've done, it's what you do."

I've been shot by such incidents before and there are also times when I really wanna shoot this to some people I know. Can we take our friends a little less for granted?

Oh yeah, before I sign off, I just wanna share this song with you. Somehow it spoke on my behalf lately. I hope you'll like this.

Take care and God Bless.

Vonda Shepard - Searchin' My Soul (Ally McBeal's opening theme)

.:: I'm AlIvE aGaIn ::.

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 21:43:27 GMT

OK! I know, this might sound a little lagged behind. I've just watched Transformers. What can I do? UK's a little behind other countries. Anyhow...my thoughts about it.

Kudos to:

1. Graphic artist and animators
For that smooth & ass kicking graphic design and details you have spent hours rendering them. Who knows you guys might got sick of looking at it by now. What can I say, it's AWESOME! I can never understand where that effort comes from. Indeed, a great job there.

2. Casts
For that good acting skills you've got. I can never pretend to act to nothing in a real world. Come on peeps, they actually had to show some real emotion looking at nothing. They just had to put a picture in their imagination and start acting as if it were right in front of them. Hello??!! Did anyone ever realise that those are graphics?? They aren't physically visible robots you know? (That's as far as I know)

3. Their music composers / directors & WHATEVER they call them
The effect of music was strong. I realise that the music used along the movie was well developed. It's soothing, heart-wrenching(at times), dramatic and intensed and I was somehow drawn to those Autobots' emotions. Very well done. It's like I see robots come to life.

In conclusion, best movie for me this year, 2007. I'd dare to say, the best this summer. A must watch movie of 2007. Not to be missed. For those who are yet to catch this movie or in doubt, get it soon at the cinema. It's worth paying that money for this movie.

Disclaimer: Gerald has no direct nor indirect association with Transformers' marketing's activity.

On another funnier note:

On Sunday before catching Transformers, a few of us got together at Fresco Cafe for a drink before heading for dinner because we've got like a few hours to spare in between.

So, while we were happily chatting away, the rain started its vicious downpour on us. Oh, by the way, it was outdoor and there weren't any umbrella nor shelter to cover us. So we basically had to walk or run fast.
And as we were leaving the cafe (Note: None of us has a single pair of umbrella), a weird conversation occurred:

Friend A: Arghh...run....!
Friend B: Eh, come here la(towards Friend A)... I can cover you with my head.
Friend A: It's ok. I'm fine.

Then...there's a few split seconds of silence.....

Me: Hello, what did you just say? How can you cover her with your head? I wonder how...*LOL*
Friend B: Ah, what? Okok, I wanted to say hoody. Hehe...
Me: Hahaha, too late. I'm gonna blog you.